I have just spent a happy-sad hour, drooling over my Funky Mama Clothes Pinterest boards… clicking through links on beautiful garments… and then realising it doesn’t come in my size.

I hate clothes shopping. Online. Off line. Always have, always will.

The whole purpose,it seems to me, is to make the majority of women feel like they’re just not quite normal…

So having gotten up the courage, after months, to measure my beautiful body, in order to purchase some clothes without holes, I discover that I am in fact, according to all the lovely websites, larger than XXL… except I can’t be, I don’t think I look it…

Me… no clever angles, no photoshop…

And the thing is I am sure the online sites are being over cautious when they say that XXL is still 3 inches too small for my waist, as it classifies the size as UK 22-24… where as I am 16-20 depending on make..I look gorgeous in skirts… Skirts are women’s clothes… So why do I have to consider custom, or “paying extra for more fabric”….

Having spent my entire adult life thinking I was too fat, when I was in fact normal. I am now making peace with the fact that despite my BMI not being particularly fashionable, I LIKE the way my body looks… and feels…

I am curvy not chubby as my daughter calls me. Not obese as the BMI would have it. Not plus sized as clothing companies would have it.

Plus what?

I am goddess sized. Woman-who-has-curves-and-had-three-children sized.

So why can’t I find clothes that will fit?

I’m not odd shaped. I’m woman shaped.

I happen to have a hell of a lot of slim to skinny friends whose bodies are model sized after three kids.

I’m delighted for them.

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