I’m an idiot

So thinks my two-year-old. Her evidence?

I do not know how to cut toast. There are a range of possible options: life jackets, circles, birds and big ones. All with a sub-set of variations of crust/ no crust combinations. I cannot be trusted to read her mind as to which of these combinations are required right now.

Ditto spoons. Is it the pink one, the baby one (also pink), T’s one (a different shade of pink again) or a people’s one (adult spoon).

I cannot, under any circumstances be trusted to put on socks. This is the domain of dada.

Ditto pulling up trousers. I pull them up too high. Apparently.

Ditto pulling down trousers to pee. I pull them too low!

So people, there you have it. You are wrong, Cambridge were wrong… I am neither wise nor clever. No, I am a banana. A potato. A slug. An idiot!

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  1. laangel

    always thought you were a rubbish mum 😉

  2. Dreamingaloudnet

    Ouch! 😉

  3. Jill

    It sounds like you’re frustrated and exasperated by her demands and changing desires. It’s a tough time… that unfortunately comes and goes for some time (my kids are 5 and 6 now and we still go through these phases). The hard part, of course, is just seeing it as their desire to have power (which they don’t have much of) and rolling with it. Best wishes… this is when it’s important to make sure you’re doing what you need for yourself… so that it’s easier to go with the flow.

  4. Jill

    Oh… just realized as I hit “Post Comment” that it was a bunch of unsolicited advice… you likely realize all of what I said anyway… I guess I went back to remembering MY kids being two… and gave myself some advice! LOL! I wish I’d rolled with it better…

  5. Dreamingaloudnet

    Oh, Jill, how kind of you to comment and be so understanding. But worry not, it was meant tongue in cheek, with amusement… The hardest part is over now, the frustrations past, she is 3 next week. It is more mildly amusing than deeply frustrating at the stage we’re at now.

  6. Anonymous

    Lucy I think you are more of a great flamin’ galah than a potato!

    Oh and P.S. I checked out your friend Daves blog and the Fukinelli concept had me in stitches. Literally. My sides hurt. But couldn’t find any way to leave a comment as there’s no space for anonymous commenters…. Please tell him this here reader loves it!

    Mudderfunker x

  7. Dreamingaloudnet

    Hey MF! He is v funny isn’t he – but man he’s the worst blog publicist I ever did Have Facebook’d him your comment. Wish I could see his face when he reads it, he’ll go all pink and bashful and come out with some deflection of the compliment with super-speed! So I’ll advertise him again!! fishesrumour.blogspot.com

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