Vocation

Are You Living Your Vocation?

Do you feel called to your work?

But then feel as though you’re not really experienced enough/ good enough/ the right person to do it?

Or do you have a sense that there is something you should be doing. Something clear and defined. You just have no idea what it is yet.

The idea of a vocation – a life of service to both the community and an art/ craft or spiritual power is an enduring but rather old fashioned one. As in “I’m not actually responsible for my motivation or what I create, I’m just under orders.”

If you are not religious, having a vocation can seem extra odd… because you have no clear name or image to define this divine order-giver with. But it is where the work flows from. And without it, it is dry and uninteresting. With it it is vivid, juicy and engaging.

Nor is it predictable or reliable. It doesn’t turn up to schedule. Though I do. I work whether or not it is there. But the days, like yesterday, when it is. Oh, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I described it as being invited to take tea with god. It’s not an invitation you turn down for anything.

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I totally believe in my work. I am totally committed to it. I do it pretty much every waking moment that I can. It has my yes and confidence. I invest my time and creativity into it. 

BUT…

And this is a big but…

My work chooses me. I act as a vessel for it. A crucible for it to come to be through me. I do not sit down and “choose” my work, or plan it. In truth I do not really “create” it. I need to be there, open and trusting and it comes. My job is to put it down. In words, images, colour…

There are a number of problems with this:
1) I do not know where this “work” comes from.
2) I feel very weird and odd talking about it this way. I would find it much easier to say “yes, it’s all mine” and be in control of its content and direction!
3) I am “called” to do “work” which I would not consciously choose.
4) By doing the work, I have to put myself “out there” when really I am much more in my comfort zone being private and small. I am not after ego trips or fame or fortune.
5) I feel my skills are lacking for what I am called to do.

But what I realised this afternoon is this: The work is good. The work is needed. I am blessed to have it. My feelings about myself are beside the point. And in a way are an insult to the work.

It is truly not about me! Oh no!

And so I need to get out of it. Get out of my own way and show up. For no other reason than to let the work happen.

It doesn’t matter what I understand or don’t. Why or where it comes from, and if I believe in this or that. The work is there. I am here and it is calling to be born, and I can hear it.

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What can I do?

How can I serve?

What lights me up?

These are the only questions that matter.

Do you feel like this about your “work” – be it healing, painting or mothering? Do you say “yes” to your life mission, or keep getting in your own way?

 

  1. Paula M. Youmell, RN, MS, CHC
    Paula M. Youmell, RN, MS, CHC04-12-2015

    I do Lucy and thanks for reminding me to just relax into the flow and let myself be a vessel of wisdom for woman, healing, life! Cheers!

  2. Mo
    Mo04-12-2015

    Thank you for writing and sharing this. Couldn’t have come at better timing: I’ve read it during a couple of child-free hours that I intended to spend on some creative work, and have been spent faffing online (a habit of mine probably stemming from my fear that said creative work will be “wrong”).And then felt guilty for doing so!

    I’m very glad that you say yes to your life mission; glad for you and for what it brings to others. Many of your blogposts, Juno columns and your Moontime book have taught me a lot about motherhood, about women and about myself. Thank you. ♥

    • Lucy Pearce
      Lucy Pearce04-14-2015

      Oh Mo, I know this all too well. I have developed a practice which I call mindful mindlessness – so that I faff in places – namely blogs I love, great FB pages and my Pinterest boards which fuel me on a subconscious level.

      Thanks so much for your kind words re my work!

      • Mo
        Mo04-20-2015

        “mindful mindlessness” – sums it up perfectly! ♥

  3. Mirror
    Mirror04-15-2015

    Thank you for this, Lucy.

    It helps me no end to hear people’s experiences of creativity – especially those true artists I believe to be so much further along the path than I am. Surely they don’t still struggle with their creativity? Surely they don’t question it or doubt it?

    I’m a baby on the path to understanding and healing my wounds around creativity. I doubt it BIG-TIME but finally, after 5 years of looking at all the reasons my mind wants to throw at me for NOT creating, NOT writing, NOT picking up my guitar… Those voices are winning less. They’re softer. Not so adamant anymore. There’s more ability to say what the hell and do something for the pure joy regardless of what it looks like or sounds like or what results it may or may not bring me in my work.

    More ability to open and listen to that vision that wants to come through me but that has nothing to do with me.

    Tender and scary and very, very fragile. A new-born.

    Maybe trust will come. And maybe not. I don’t know if it matters.

    • lucyhpearce
      lucyhpearce04-15-2015

      Thank YOU Mirror!

      I think it’s so important to share these things, especially with those who are experiencing inner doubt… or a still tentatively feeling their way – as from the outside those of us who are doing our work out in the world can seem supremely confident, bullet proof and as if we have it all figured out. Or else that we are “special” and our work is an “obvious” success.

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