Shopping when Goddess-sized

I have just spent a happy-sad hour, drooling over my Funky Mama Clothes Pinterest boards… clicking through links on beautiful garments… and then realising it doesn’t come in my size.

I hate clothes shopping. Online. Off line. Always have, always will.

The whole purpose,it seems to me, is to make the majority of women feel like they’re just not quite normal…

So having gotten up the courage, after months, to measure my beautiful body, in order to purchase some clothes without holes, I discover that I am in fact, according to all the lovely websites, larger than XXL… except I can’t be, I don’t think I look it…

Me… no clever angles, no photoshop…

And the thing is I am sure the online sites are being over cautious when they say that XXL is still 3 inches too small for my waist, as it classifies the size as UK 22-24… where as I am 16-20 depending on make..I look gorgeous in skirts… Skirts are women’s clothes… So why do I have to consider custom, or “paying extra for more fabric”….

Having spent my entire adult life thinking I was too fat, when I was in fact normal. I am now making peace with the fact that despite my BMI not being particularly fashionable, I LIKE the way my body looks… and feels…

I am curvy not chubby as my daughter calls me. Not obese as the BMI would have it. Not plus sized as clothing companies would have it.

Plus what?

I am goddess sized. Woman-who-has-curves-and-had-three-children sized.

So why can’t I find clothes that will fit?

I’m not odd shaped. I’m woman shaped.

I happen to have a hell of a lot of slim to skinny friends whose bodies are model sized after three kids.

I’m delighted for them.

But that ain’t my figure. Ain’t ever going to be. So I know that clothes swap parties with them will always be slim pickings. Literally.
But then at the sling wearing conference at the weekend I was in a room full of woman-sized women – some slim, most curvy, some monumental… but my guess is that 80% of us there, us normal, healthy mamas would have been classed as plus sized.

WTF?

Look this ain’t new. Not to you, not to me. But it gets me every time. Every time. 
And I wish it were different.
I wish that being woman-sized was normal… Acceptable…Enjoyable…Easy.
It’s alright, I’m a self-declared dreamer. So on with my fat control knickers and burka of shame. World, worry not, I shall keep my delicious goddess-sized body well out of your changing rooms… And I’ve bought a sewing machine!

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