I’m an idiot
So thinks my two-year-old. Her evidence?
I do not know how to cut toast. There are a range of possible options: life jackets, circles, birds and big ones. All with a sub-set of variations of crust/ no crust combinations. I cannot be trusted to read her mind as to which of these combinations are required right now.
Ditto spoons. Is it the pink one, the baby one (also pink), T’s one (a different shade of pink again) or a people’s one (adult spoon).
I cannot, under any circumstances be trusted to put on socks. This is the domain of dada.
Ditto pulling up trousers. I pull them up too high. Apparently.
Ditto pulling down trousers to pee. I pull them too low!
So people, there you have it. You are wrong, Cambridge were wrong… I am neither wise nor clever. No, I am a banana. A potato. A slug. An idiot!