I can’t be… can I?

So here we have it: the evidence:
My husband had a vasectomy last June…
He had two negative sperm samples – and was given the all clear…
I have been a very good girl, no bonking postmen…or chiropractors!
I had all the signs that my period was coming…
But then it didn’t…
I am always regular…
My period is now ten days late…

But I can’t be… can I?
So it would be TOTALLY ridiculous, like totally mad to do a pregnancy test…
Right?
So I’m not going to…
Because I can’t be…
It’s just we manage to get pregnant by sneezing… well, nearly… we get pregnant when I’m not ovulating. We get pregnant on the one time that we don’t use contraception… so who’s to say that my husband’s sneaky little suckers and my greedy egg won’t trick all medical tests and continue to reproduce anyway?!
Is it all the birth books I’ve been reading (for work) the past few weeks?…
You see I would love to give birth again, of course I would…
But we don’t need any more children in our lives: energy-wise, sanity-wise, financially, creatively, environmentally…
So we made a conscious decision not to have anymore… hence the final step of a vasectomy…
Which really shook me, at just three months post partum… a deep sadness which my mind understands, but not my body…
But it was supposed to stop this endless thing of “I’m pregnant… again”, and our entire life is turned upside down…
And yet, I had a dream, when pregnant with my second, a very powerful dream of four sandcastles on the shore. They were my four babies…
I have been unable to shake it from my head…
But I can’t be…
So I’m not…
Right?

  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous04-12-2011

    Oh my! Well I bumped into a lady yesterday, a lovely lady with four lovely girls, all flowery and bohemian and pretty as rainbows, all aged about the same age as mine. I called to her and said hey, that’s funny, you have four girls and I have four boys! And in a really sweet way she conspiratorially said yeah, four of anything is just ridiculous isn’t it! There was no malice in this comment, but I recognised what she was saying and laughed with her. It does seem crazy, and yet the craziness is short lived in the very grand scheme of things. If you have a little fella or little lady in there, all I can say is they must be very determined to
    be with you!!!!! Whatever happens you have it inside you to cope, and maybe there is some unfinished business that would be completed with the coming of this new life? Big hugs to you, and an excited eeeeek!!!!!! XXXXX mf

  2. NatalieRoberts1
    NatalieRoberts104-12-2011

    Well stranger things have happened. If you are pregnant then it was obviously meant to be.
    You will soon find out in 9 months :)

  3. Loo
    Loo04-12-2011

    I have a spare test you can have, I know I am!!!

  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous04-13-2011

    ???!!!!Wow Lucy. You have me on the edge of my seat. Please do a test to put all your blog readers out of suspense.

    Louise

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