Stop with the sunshine posts!
After speaking to a couple of mother friends over the past few days who feel overwhelmed and despondent, I realise that I’m in danger of turning into one of those annoying mamas who wears hippy skirts, bakes cakes, makes endless craft with their kids and is always happy… oh wait a minute, I am that woman. Hurray! I have made it. For a while anyway!
But let me share a secret with you- I used to read posts by people like me and HATE them! Bloody earth mothers! How do they bake their own bread and write a blog and home school and be NICE all day?
Well they are not, I’m sure, and I’m not either. Only 2 months ago I was bawling my eyes out at women’s group cos life was shit, I was shit and I HATED being a mother and wasn’t doing ANYTHING, I was barely surviving, let alone baking bread.
So dear reader, you and I need a little agreement here, that just cos all is roses in my world today, just cos I had a home birth, just cos I am a mighty fine cake baker, doesn’t mean all is perfect, nor does it mean everything in your life is not perfect in comparison. so don’t begrudge me the roses. I share them to share a little happiness, not to make you feel shit in comparison if your day was less than rosy.
I read a post on this the other day (see Apron Stringz link below) and committed to writing an honest blow-by-blow account of my life. By 10am I was deeply depressed, stacking up all the little nuggets of tedious misery to share on my blog. So I didn’t. And when I let go of that, I had a lovely day! And so I wrote about that instead!
So if you’re needing a little reassurance that actually it’s completely normal part of mamahood (in our screwed up western world) to be feeling frustrated, isolated and like you’re not getting anything done, that actually breastfeeding sucks, you hate being pregnant and actually you didn’t get the birth you were promised, please know you are not alone.
I have been there in my own ways – with 3 kids under 6 and babies who don’t sleep, I have BEEN there – with sore boobs, and wishing I wasn’t a mama, wishing long and hard, and shouting at my kids too much and feeling overwhelmed by simply being awake. Some bits I haven’t been there on – I got the births I wanted pretty much, but by the skin of my teeth with the second and third…
Anyway if you need a bit of balm for the mothersoul, let me prescribe the following:
A truly wonderful post by CJ over at Apron Stringz: Love Letter to New Mamas
A few of my previous posts
A Love Letter for Mamas
The first couple of paragraphs of Beyond Housewives and Feminism
Reflection of a Mother
Discover a positive language of mothering to describe all the unspoken things you ARE doing
And award yourself a Mothering Badge of Honour
And Finding Your Inner Mama – a great book which will be reviewed in the summer issue of JUNO.